Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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