No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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