Im at strip club and am horny
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is Oprah even human
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
