oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
