He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
