why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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