he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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