Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
