Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
