yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
