I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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