i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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