I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
