Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My ass is underappreciated
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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