I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
