I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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