He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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