Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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