how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
