She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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