I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
