Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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