i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
