Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
