somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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