You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize