I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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