I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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