ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Princesses don't give blow jobs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
