No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
