But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
