And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
