we made out on top of his cat.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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