go do what you do best...puke behind churches
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
