you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
