Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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