similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
