if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
