I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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