i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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