told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
