So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
