There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
