Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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