Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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