WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont even know how to be here
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
