Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
