Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
