It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize