girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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