the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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