so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize