walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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