4 words: hood of his car
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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