The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
