why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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