i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
