I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
